It's easy! Just stop being stressed this holiday season! …Not
by Emily Kibler | November 26, 2024
For many people, this week kicks off the season of family gatherings and holiday events. While this can be a joyful time of celebration and giving, it is also often associated with stress and interpersonal drama. Therefore, we at Alliance of Disability Advocates want to give you some of the best (and worst) advice you might hear this holiday season: prioritize your self-care and mental health through the next few months.
Simple, right? That’s what all the inspirational posts on social media would have you believe; that once you read those words, everything will click into place and you will no longer have to deal with holiday stress. However, life isn’t that simple.
Emotions of all kind intensify during this time of year. Happiness and joy are palpable throughout the world as parades, music, and holiday traditions bring us together. However, nostalgia, sadness, and grief are also intensified as people reflect on the things and people that are missing from their celebrations, or lack thereof. It is normal to struggle with finding a balance between managing all of these emotions while still participating in the many events and traditions that typically overwhelm this time of year.
The hard truth is that there isn’t an easy solution to this dilemma. No self-help guide or newsletter article is going to give you the magic information to fix all stressors this holiday season (no matter how much the author of this newsletter wishes that were true). However, there are ways to ease the stress and negative emotions and take back some control over your own happiness.
Focus on Self-Care
Yes, this is easier said than done, but that doesn’t make it impossible. Most people know that they need to prioritize self-care, but come up with countless excuses for why it doesn’t make sense for them. Still, there are small ways that we can all incorporate self-care into our everyday practices. What works for one person might not work for another, but that doesn’t mean that nothing will ever work. Self-care is a journey and it takes time to learn what works for you and give it the necessary space in your life, but once you do, the results will be obvious.
Rethink Self-Care
The most important thing to know about self-care is that it is about intent. You might not have to change any aspects of your life or add any new experiences in order to incorporate self-care. For example, most people have some leisure activity that they already do: watching tv, playing phone or video games, reading, scrolling through social media, etc. Rather than thinking about all of the other things you should be doing instead, reframe your mindset to be intentional about the importance of these activities to your self-care. These activities should bring you joy, not add on to your stress. When you sit down to relax with your chosen leisure activity, tell yourself that this is an important item on your to-do list and be proud of yourself for prioritizing your own happiness.
Self-care is not only important in reference to leisure activities, but can also be incorporated into all tasks. When you are cleaning, cooking, or doing other household chores, put on some fun music or a favorite show (if it doesn’t distract you). Set achievable goals and be proud of yourself for meeting those goals. Too often, we make large unattainable goals that set us up for failure, leading to increased stress and undeserved self-criticism. Rather than planning to “clean the house,” focus on a specific area or task like “cleaning the bookshelves” or “reorganizing the hall closet.” These goals are more attainable and will help you focus on all of the things you did, rather than all of the things you still have to do.
Celebrate the Small Victories
One of the easiest ways to incorporate self-care into your life is by learning to be proud of yourself for doing hard things. Of course, this includes big challenges like going to that interview or cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the entire extended family, but it also is important for the small victories like finally sending that email you have been putting off or finding a new recipe that everyone likes. Celebrating all of these small victories helps you show yourself the love and grace you deserve.
This is Not a One-Time Fix All
It is important to remember that the journey to self-care takes time and practice. Your brain is likely trained to look forward and think about the stress of the future rather than be proud of yourself for your small successes. It takes time and energy to reframe this mindset, but it will be worth it in the end. In the beginning, you might have to set aside time every day to remind yourself of your small victories, but as you get used to it, this form of self-care will start to come naturally to you. It won’t magically fix all stress and it definitely won’t prevent the inevitable holiday drama, but it will help you learn to take a breath and be kind to yourself for how much you are doing.