Disability Terms as Comments | Alliance of Disability Advocates

Disability Language Series

Using Disability Terms as Casual Comments and Jokes

by Emily Kibler | September 30, 2025

Welcome back to our disability language series. Last month, we kicked things off with a discussion of person-first vs identity-first language, which you can read here. As a reminder, that topic was focused around misconceptions about what is and is not offensive to the disability community.

This month’s subject is much more straightforward: using disability terms as casual comments and jokes. In my opinion, this is one of the most offensive (and unfortunately common) ways that disability language is misused.

As always, this article reflects one person’s perspective, and there will naturally be differing opinions. However, if there is one thing that much of the disability community can unite under, it is that using disability terms as jokes and throwaway comments is offensive.

What Does This Mean?

You have probably heard (or said) things like:

“I’m so OCD!” or
“That just gave me PTSD!”

These are both forms of using disability terms to describe non-disability-related experiences. If I, as a person with OCD, said this comment as a way of describing my own symptoms, it would not be offensive. However, when a person who does not have OCD says this, they are not describing a real symptom; rather, they are using someone else’s condition as a personality quirk or exaggeration.

Why is This Offensive?

Taking offense at comments like these and calling people out is one of the quickest ways to be labeled as “too sensitive” or a “snowflake.” (Side note: don’t call people that.) However, brushing these comments off as trivial and harmless is not only ignorant, but also discriminatory. Let’s go into why.

1. It is Inaccurate.

Despite what TV shows might depict, OCD is not just about being clean. That is one potential symptom of Contamination OCD, which it one subtype of a much broader and more complex condition (learn more here).

As someone who primarily has the Symmetry/Perfectionism OCD subtype, I am much more concerned with order than cleanliness. Anyone who has ever lived with me can tell you that! While I have meticulously organized drawers, anything that doesn’t have an assigned place (laundry, cups, random crafting supplies) is left on the floor until it has a place to go. If all you knew about OCD was what was shown on TV, a person would never suspect me of having it by looking at my room.

Similarly, being scared when someone jumps out at you from hiding isn’t likely to give you PTSD. It very well could exacerbate PTSD symptoms for someone who already has the condition, but it is not the same as having PTSD.

The other way that PTSD is often used in a casual context is when referring to people or situations from the past that wronged you or caused you pain in some way. While these experiences can be painful, it is still important not to equate them with the realities of having PTSD. To learn more about what it is like to have PTSD, click here.

Using these conditions out of context, even without the intention of equating your experiences to the disability itself, contributes to the perpetuation of misinformation about the experiences of those with the conditions.

2. It Trivializes Real Experiences

OCD has been a major part of my life for as long as I can remember. Some of my earliest memories involve the stresses that I faced going into unorganized stores or places where signs on the walls were crooked. As a young kid, I couldn’t go into Walmart without screaming and having a meltdown when I wasn’t able to put every item back in its “correct” place. It was debilitating; not just for me, but for my entire family.

Now, as an adult, I have put in a lot of work in therapy to be able to handle situations like this. However, the symptoms are still there. All of my friends know that even though I no longer have to put everything back in its exact place, they are not allowed to put something back wrong when they are with me.

While this was one of my earliest symptoms of OCD, it was not my only one. While every person with OCD has a different collection of symptoms and triggers, the one thing that connects us all are intrusive thoughts. As this is not an article about OCD, I will not go into this too much here, but if you would like to read more, click here.

As a summary, intrusive thoughts are thoughts that are uncontrollable and persistent. When most people encounter a crooked picture frame, they either don’t notice it or are able to move on from it. For me, the thought doesn’t go away. If I don’t fix the picture frame, my thoughts are plagued with the thought of “fix it, fix it, FIX IT, FIX IT.” It can be almost unbearable at times.

While my intrusive thoughts are more akin to persistent screaming, some people’s intrusive thoughts take the form of threats. Many people with OCD describe how if they don’t do something like fixing a picture frame, their mind tells them that something will happen to a family member or close friend. You might think this sounds irrational, and you would be correct. OCD is irrational. That is what makes it so debilitating.

I do not normally get this vulnerable in these articles, but this time it felt important to show the impact that disabilities can have on a person, especially those in the mental illness category.

My experience with OCD is lifelong and, at times, all-consuming. When someone who doesn’t have that experience makes a joke about wanting to use hand sanitizer before they eat saying “I’m so OCD about that,” they are taking something that is a serious, daily challenge for me and making it out to be something flippant and casual.

It’s not funny—it’s unkind.

3. It Leads to Exclusion

I can tell you every time that someone has used one of my disabilities as jokes and casual comments, because each memory is cemented in my mind. It is hard for me to trust people who use my disabilities this way, as it signifies a deep lack of understanding, not only about the disability community, but about me as a person.

This is especially difficult for people with OCD and other conditions that involve intrusive thoughts like Anxiety, PTSD, Autism, ADHD, and many other disabilities. A seemingly offhand comment can make intrusive thoughts immensely worse and can send someone into a spiral that derails an entire day.

When someone speaks up about language like this, they are not being overly sensitive. They are protecting themselves and others from the harm caused by those words.

So, What Can You Do?

If you haven’t already, stop using disability terms casually. Below is a table of common phrases with an example of what can be said instead:

What Was Said	What Was Meant (Say This Instead)
“I’m so OCD”	“I like things to be clean and tidy.”
“That gave me PTSD.”	“I still sometimes think about that.” (or) “That really scared me!”
“Sorry I didn’t hear you. I’m deaf.”	“Sorry I didn’t hear you.”
“I’m blind, can you come closer?”	“I can’t see you, can you come closer?”
“I’ve got ADHD today.”	“I can’t focus today.”
“I’ve been bipolar recently.”	“I have been having mood swings lately.”

If you want to go a step further in creating an inclusive space, speak up when you hear others using these phrases.

As I said earlier, I can remember every time a person used one of my disabilities flippantly. However, I can also remember every time a person, regardless of if they knew my disabilities, called someone out.

The simple act of gently correcting someone might make a world of difference to someone around. Since many of these disabilities are invisible, you never know who is managing which symptoms. Therefore, just as you are never safe to make these comments because you think you know your audience, you should always correct people when possible, regardless of who is around.

There have been several times when comments like these have affected me from a neighboring table or just in the comments section of a post. And there have been other times when I have been able to move on with my day without spiraling into intrusive thoughts because someone else has chosen to call the person out.

Key Takeaways

So far in this series, we have discussed the following takeaways:

Disability is not a bad thing.
Disability is an identity, and should be respected as such.
The meaning behind what is said is tremendously more important than whether a person chooses to use person-first or identity-first language.

This week we will add a few more:

Never use a disability label as a joke or casual comment, regardless of your audience.
Do not take offense to people calling you out for ignorant comments, and never double-down by calling them “sensitive.”
Stand up for others by addressing jokes and comments that might be painful to people.

Keep an eye out for the next installment of this series in a future newsletter where we will build off of this topic to discuss using disability terms like “crazy” and “lame” as insults.

Want to read more articles about this subject?

PORTER: I’m so OCD about your vocabulary

Please Stop Saying “Bipolar” When You Mean Unpredictable or Broken

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