July 23, 2013 I heard, “David, you have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Major Depression”. Wow, I felt like I was ran over with a semi. As I started to process what that meant, I quickly realized that to the outside world, I am now a “crazy person” and I have no idea how to be “uncrazy”. My thoughts stayed around that I will never find a job, never have a long term relationship, never have kids. I am crazy. What is the point of living?
A few months after diagnosis, continued self-hate thinking and multiple failed relationships, I tried to commit suicide. By the grace of God, I was not successful but that really started my path to healing. I wanted to learn why my brain made me think the way I did, how can I get help and what can I do to make things better so I can function independently. So for the past 3 years, I have strived to be consistent with therapy and now medication which helps my brain create new roadways for my thoughts to go down. I also journal daily to help retrain/ create new roadways in my brain for thoughts to go down. Some seasons are more consistent with others but through therapy, medication and new friendships, I am making progress of becoming a person that is thriving more and more in life.
Some people tell me I shouldn’t tell people about my BPD or depression, I disagree. It is my “me too” story. It is my story to let you know you are not alone and you do not have a death sentence.